Goodbye Summer..

To the winter of valley-
How you always surround me in nostalgia
As for now; mountains are less brighter
And snow is melting with tears
I wonder how you will be-a month after now
Or can you stay like this forever.
Things are a never changing circle-in times
Of stagnation ', but heart always wants difference. Even then
Can it be, these breeze will never run out
And these mountains ' always stay white
And greens will be greener -more charm, and
Beautiful 'd be an essence of the surviving.
Let's hope for tomorrow morning,
I see a winter ' again;and be happy like as before
Goodbye summer.

~Shashi Raj Pandey

Just Like That

Just like that-
You won't believe it.
But it's been like this for a  long time.
A skeptic head is better than a sarcastic one.
With less on hand- An hour glass is  our life
No one can turn it-upside down,
While age remains , and youth is gone
Just like that.

~ Shashi Raj Pandey

After a short moment of sanity
Don't you want a dose of clarity?
A sudden realization-that pollutes
What is called a conscious mind you have.
You almost believed!
A liar I am.
For happiness is short,and as of life;
You have no idea.
Long long way to go my friend-
A little more of that is life.
Just a little more!

~Shashi Raj Pandey

काठमान्डौँ

यहाँ शहरमा,
उसै कोलाहल जमेको छ
मानिसहरु भित्र
अनी सडकमा,
हिंड्ने भन्दा थुक्ने बढी छन्
ज्ञानीहरु,र म। 
रत्नपार्कको एक छेउ,
शिरीशका रुखहरु 
आफ्नै छायाँ कुल्चदै झुम्मिएका
एकसुर
वसन्त पर्खदै-
नेपथ्य,
आफैमा स्वरुप खोज्दो छ निरन्तर
भ्रम-चेतना आगन्तुकको ।
हरेक साँझ,
उसका आँखाहरु रसाएको देख्छु
अनी सोच्छु,
आँशु सत्य कि चोट?
जब सपना फुट्छन्-
पालो मिचेर
एक पछी अर्को अनी,
मर्दो रहेछ भोक पनि
सुन्य भएर
यहाँ,
शहरमा

~ Shashi Raj Pandey

Some Things That Stay

That used to be-my things I'd give
And envy all that flies away.Softly
They sail in the golden aurora,and lure
Beings with lackluster heart-
We are.
I'd keep myself in melancholy
And weep all day in delusion;naive I am
And that's not living I know.Just trying to,
I forget.
Everytime to forgive is human
Not at times-we do.
Even then everyday,
Listen to the wind it says
As some seeds they wither to flower
We should let things go,and
That's how it works.
In life,
Some things they run so easy
And some things they stay.
Forever.

~Shashi Raj Pandey

Happiness

Subtle moments of happiness
They don't grow or are rooted
They just sail again and again
Like leaves in the wind's waves.
But you always wanted it named
O' this and that-big and strange
I wish you'd ever looked that way
A beautiful world that you've framed.

~Shashi Raj Pandey

Living A 'Subconcious' Mind

Dreams,don't kill me
I give up.
I know you are a ghost
And you can.
If you ever begin
No one can stand against
And you won't let them
To follow naive child's heart
Or I'd have lived happiness
With joy and celebration
You kept it away.Well, wise?
You are so young and full of hopes,
If you don't kill me.But
You can and will
Because I know you are a ghost.
A ghost within.

~Shashi Raj Pandey

Following Back

How often I don't know,but always it is
They've looked at me and my melancholy.
I've waved them back-not that I wanted to
Why today won't last but ends up slowly.

Then a thought of love,so young.So old
Is a happy heart.It grew in a blissful play.
And faced all the odds but where are they
Tears,you naive they will find their way.

A life to learn,and you've watched me back
The most they came-the worst my choosing.
Well can it be someday when there's no past
But all living today.And no pain of losing.

How often I don't know ,but always it is
Solitude will be the greatest form of living.
And if something stays and it'd survive
It wouldn't be doing magical but just being.

~Shashi Raj Pandey

Sunshine

What a beautiful day today
All I can see is deep blue sky
Like entire` ocean's up there
Though I haven't seen it alive.
Not with my eyes,not to this life
I've felt it on my feet.It's not dry
But moist.As stream touches me,
Nurtures my soul.As wind goes by
And wave of white clouds floats
Softly over my head.I am tingled,
Blossomed.With emotions and love
To you O' nature,my love.I am alive.
I am contented.More than any.

~ Shashi Raj Pandey

Upon My Deathbed

I'd ask for nothing upon my deathbed
As I might have got what I'd lived for
By then.And I won't yell at you so bad.
'Just give me a day I had dreamed of '.
Where children's dancing,barefoot
And singing their rhymes of innocence
Holds birds to do chorus for them.
Where chirpy sounds of joy and wisdom
Puts wings to hope and they fly high
Not just to realize a better dimension
But to enjoy the beauty of perception.
Where we all live our heyday and
Nobody suffers with their choices.
It never attempts to kill but saves you
Rather with a mellow caress.And
There's always love for the leftovers.
Then you won't envy rather aspire,I'd pray.
Or you might say,'You've lived too much.'
Upon my deathbed.

~ Shashi Raj Pandey

प्रत्यक शुक्रबार रत्नपार्कमा…( एक अंश)

मान्छे त्यसै कमजोर हुदैन र पनि सबैको जीवन कुनै न कुनै सुरको स्प्रिङमा अड्किएको छ।त्यसैले उ डराउँछ,कमजोर सोच्छ,हुन्छ बेला मौका।म पनि। 

हिजो जस्तो लाग्छ शिरिशका फूलहरू हावाको मन्द बेग संगै यता ऊता टहल्दै बटुवाको पाउमुनी वास बस्न आइपुग्थे।यो शहर कती सुहाएको लाग्थ्यो,निलाम्मे। कुनै कलाकारको क्यनभास जस्तो -अनी कसरी म पारिजात र  सकम्बरी सम्झथेँ,एकैसाथ विशालनगरको त्यो घरमा।तर अहीले सब फेरिएको छ।पुरै सडक कुरुप छ जसरी मान्छे र तिनका मन पनि।"उसो त सुन्दरता अस्थिर हुन्छ आफैमा।त्यसको पछी लाग्नु नै मुर्खता हो।",म सोच्दैछु भिड भित्र गुम्सिएर।बाटामा मान्छेहरू बेमौसमी मन्सून र नगरपालिका सराप्दै हिड्दैछ्न।हिलोले शहर मातिएको छ,कुनै जड्याहा जस्तो।

म देख्दैछु सडक निर्दयी छ यहाँ।रत्नपार्कमा बसेर उ मलाई डर बेच्दैछ।म सोचमा छु।आज कसरी कसरी उसले म फेला पार्यो,कमजोर म।छेवैमा मान्छे को तौल नाप्ने घडी जस्तो मसिन छ,प्लास्टिकको निकै पुरानो देखिन्छ।छोटा कपडामा हिलो उसै पोतिएका छन्।सिर नअटाउने ढाका टोपी अनी सानो बटुको,त्यसमा जमेको पानी र डुबेका केही सिक्काहरू।यहाँ वजन जाँच्ने फुर्सद कसलाई र खोइ,म भुन्भुनाउँछु।उ ओत खोज्दैछ,पाउँछ तर रोज्दैन। ओतमा उसको परिवार भिज्थ्यो सायद।जिवनमा धेरै पल्ट यस्तो हुन्छ।केही कुरा खोजिन्छ,पाइन्छ पनि तर रोज्न सकिदैन।खोइ किन हो।कमजोर भएर??

म उसैको छेउ हिड्दै छु अहिले।उ सधैं बस्ने ठाउँ हो त्यो रत्नपर्कको।हाम्रो भेट हरेक हप्ता प्राय शुक्रबार पर्छ र पनि म उसको परिचयमा पर्दिन लाग्छ।सुन्दैछु छेवैमा सधैंझै मादल बजिरहेछ, कति मिठो ।'अस्तीको शुक्रबार एउटा मन्डली टोली आएर उसको आम्दनी खाइदियो।त्यो त उसको भाग!उ त झन् देख्दैन पनि।कस्तो!यहाँ सबै आफ्नै लागि बाँची रहेछन्,यो शहर नै उस्तो।',म साथीलाई सुनाउदै थिएँ एक दिन।"म" सुन्ने साथीलाई ।

म भित्र-भित्र उ सँग बोल्न खोज्छु,सक्दिन।उ मलाई देखे झैँ गर्छ खोइ कसरी, आभास सायद तर मुस्कुराउदैन।मेरो गुरु उ।जिवन बुझाउँछ तर बोल्दैन,टोलाउंछ केवल।उमेरमा उ मेरो बाबु जतिको।मलाई पोल्छ यो कुराले।म आफैलाई घृणा गर्न थाल्छु,प्रत्यक शुक्रबार रत्नपार्कमा।यो कस्तो डर बेचिरहेको।उ नै किन यहाँ?अरु किन यहाँ??किन यस्तो??   

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